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Lying & Deception

posted on 28 August 2016 | posted in Lying and Deceiption

Spotting deception can be one of the most difficult things to detect in a partner/spouse.

You may think it would be easier to spot your partner lying as you are intimate, talk about everything, you know how they typically behave and know their body language. Therefore it should be easy to spot a lie, but unfortunately the opposite is more likely to be true.

Love is blind. Love makes it difficult to see a partner's negative behaviour and flaws. When you are in love, you place a lot of trust in your partner and think you know them well. The trust provides you with asense of security and confirm but it also creates an opportunity for deception and lies. Deception is difficult to identify but lovers manage take this skill to a new all-time low. As you become more emotionally involved with your partner you also become less accurate at detecting deception. We are all guilty of giving our partners the benefit of the doubt and more often than not, we have a difficulty in believing our partner could lie to our face.

If you take a step back,look away from your relationship and try and examine a friend's relationship. Has a friend ever been in love with someone, but they could not see how he/she might have been lying? It's much easier to see the truth in their relationship, as you are looking in from the outside. You're emotionally involved in your relationship and really don't want to believe your partner could be lying to you, the pain and hurt can be unbearable.

We think "gut reaction" will allow us to detect deception because we trust our instinct. And while we occasionally catch a lover lying, we probably only catch about 1.5% of the lies we are told. So, based on these few successes, we assume we can detect deception better than we can.

What does this mean?

More often than not, people place the most trust in the person who is most likely to deceive them.

And unfortunately people are the most likely to deceive the person who loves and trusts them the most.


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